My favorite part of the day is in the early morning, right as I gain consciousness. My body feels rested, the sun shines through my window, and I think of all the possibilities the day can bring.
Not a moment later, my initial blissful awakening is interrupted by a loud pitched scream coming from my son’s room. He woke with poop in his pants and the hunger of 1,000 nations. So without a chance to use the bathroom or orient my body to the vertical position, I rush to his room hoping to spread some cheerful vibes to the rest of my household.
I don’t know about you, but I find it easier to think about strategies to create positive energy at home in my quiet moments. But how many moms actually get those with young kids running around? I know mine are few and far between.
I figured before I go and have myself another kid, it’s time to sit down and develop my mantra and strategy for the noisy, messy, not-so-perfect days so I can keep them as positive as possible. I hope these tips will help you too!
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Why is important to create positive energy at home
Mothers have a unique position of power in the home. Have you ever noticed when you are short tempered it seems to have a snowball effect?
It’s true that our influence as a mom has the power to change the energy of a room. But when dried juice stains and piles of laundry take up the only break from the demands of motherhood, it’s sure easy to feel down in the dumps!
I have personally seen my negative mindset project on my family. Everyone is in a bad mood and the day ultimately becomes more and more frustrating.
Is it really that imperative that moms are able to pick themselves up and radiate positivity? The answer is yes.
Related: How to be a happier mom
Studies have shown that maternal symptoms of anxiety and depression can actually affect the emotional development of children. (source)
So with an arduous task ahead of us, here are eleven simple tips to create a positive energy at home….even when you don’t feel like it.
1. Turn monotonous tasks into a musical
Music has a powerful effect on our minds. It can soothe us or make even daily tasks like cleaning feel exciting. I am currently a mom of little kids. Sometimes I don’t even have to turn on real music to harness its power. My son still appreciates my voice so we sing our way through things like getting dressed or strapping in the car seat. When that doesn’t work a living room dance party can help lighten the mood of a rainy day.
2. Throw other people’s expectations out the window
The stress that comes from trying to please everyone! I say, do what you want to do as a parent (within reason obviously). But I mean really, who said we need to have our hair done or even matching socks every day?
I know that instagram makes me feel like a complete mess sometimes, so I stay off of it as much as possible.
Honestly, I don’t want to teach my kids to live for other people either. This is a hard habit to break but if you can tell yourself every day, “it’s ok to be as I am” then you will be capable of teaching that same wisdom to your children. You will instill such confidence that they will be able to listen to the little voice inside of them. This is the example I strive to set.
3. Find out what makes each individual uniquely happy
Going off my previous point I think it’s important as moms to really get to know our kids. In order to do this, you have to actually slow down and talk to them. We spend a lot of time enforcing rules, teaching manners, and doing homework. We need to spend even more time imagining with our kids and talking to them about their hopes, dreams, and what makes them happy.
The same is to be said for our partner. I know sometimes I get so wrapped up in my todo lists that I forget to ask my spouse if he agrees on the direction I am steering our life.
One time I spent months trying to redecorate our home. I spent all this time and energy trying to make it just lovely because I thought that would make him as happy as it made me. Turns out all my husband really wanted was to have leisure time with me and I was filling our life up with projects.
I highly recommend the book His Needs, Her Needs. Even if you are super strong in your marriage or have read it before, it’s great to sit down and read together. Refresh each other on your needs and what makes you uniquely happy.
4. Eliminate excess noise
Another thing I have personally experienced that can make for an unpeaceful home is excess noise. I often turn the TV while I make dinner to entertain my son (guilty!) There are days I notice this to have the opposite effect I was going for. The noises from the TV, washer/dryer, and my chopping is overstimulating to my small human. He then starts whining and I feel stressed.
Now I put more effort into reading my family’s signals and turn off the excess noise. Having a daily quite time is a great habit to teach kids how to meditate and reflect. Parents need quite time too!
5. Embrace the mess so you can sake time for rest
Life breeds endless opportunity to stay busy. No matter how many times I try to keep my home tidy, my son will still pull the hand towels off the oven. Something I am still learning to do is to minimize my expectations about what I will accomplish with my day. There will always be another load of laundry or dish to clean. There won’t always be simple moments to snuggle on the couch and read books.
Related: How motherhood will change your life for the better
My mom has said time and time again, “Life is messy. Once you get over that you will be a lot happier.” If we all put aside our chores and just be, we will have more time to enjoy our home.
Something I have found really help me find more peace and positivity at home is to declutter. It is a ton of work upfront, but eliminating the excess is one less thing I have to maintain and manage.
6. Open the windows
Did you know that the quality of your indoor air can have a true effect on your mental state? According to this study, being exposed to particle matter 2.5 or less is associated with increased mental stress.
The best way to diversify your indoor air supply is to open the windows every once in a while! You may get a little pollen in the spring but you will also clear out the volatile organic compounds (VOCs) that build up inside our homes from building materials and home furnishings. (source) A breezy also feels so nice!
7. Create a home that is centered around light
I have mentioned in previous posts that I am an ICU nurse. One of the first things I do when my shift starts at 7 am is ask my patients if they would mind if I open their blinds.
There is something about natural light that is uplifting even in the darkest of circumstances. Sunlight helps us synthesize Vitamin D which is an important vitamin for our health, especially our immune system.
So my suggestion is to open the blinds, install a skylight, or just play in the backyard more!
9. Use a diffuser
Chances are you have probably heard of a diffuser, but just in case you haven’t, a diffuser is a small contraption designed to spread essential oils throughout a room. I love using my diffuser to set the mood!
One of my favorite oils to use when I want to create positive energy at home is Lavender.
If it’s the winter months I like to mix peppermint essential oil with rosemary essential oil to get that minty-pine smell throughout my home.
The sublime scents of essential oils add an extra layer of calm in a busy home.
10. Fill your home with plants
Do this for so many reasons! Plants purify the air and they are just plain pretty. And I am not talking just potted ones either. Spending a few extra hard-earned dollars each month on some fresh cuts from your local farmers market will pay dividends in bringing more cheerfulness to your home.
11. Be mindful of mindset
As much as I wish I believed in magic, creating a positive energy is all about mindset.
We all just want to be happy and at peace each day, don’t we? There are so many days that I struggle with this and seem to be looking for the next thing that will make me happy (like that five pm glass of wine!)
Related: My best tips for calm parenting
I am no expert by any means, but I have found that when I put my mind to see the positive things in life, all of a sudden the day looks a little brighter. Sometimes I even say the things I am thankful for out loud.
It seems silly to have to do this as an adult but I dare you to try it. It’s hard not to be happy when you really look around at this great life we have been so blessed to experience.